We have all had to encounter situations with others that require forgiveness. Some of us have successfully maneuvered the waters of forgiveness, while others are still held captive by unforgiveness. Being held captive by unforgiveness produces a domino effect of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. These feelings are counterproductive to our emotional progress. Without emotional progress our emotional intelligence growth is stunted. Have you met people who have a stunted emotional intelligence growth? I’m sure you have. I know I have!
A lack of emotional intelligence leads to an inability to have positive relationships, trust issues, depression, stress, the blame syndrome and even death. Those that lack emotional intelligence has a tendency to blame the person or the situation that needs to be forgiven for the problems in their lives. They continue to live in the past. They discuss the source or situation that led to unforgiveness as if it happened yesterday. They never seem to be able to move past the situation.
Harboring unforgiveness allows the situation or the person involved in the situation to control you. The very source of our unforgiveness continues to control our lives. Every twist and turn of our lives is ruled by unforgiveness. Living a life in this manner is not conducive to a positive, successful life. What can we do to rid ourselves of this unforgiveness?
There are several steps we can take to begin a life free of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. First, write out how we feel about the situation and the person. Keeping this inside is allowing the hurt and anger to linger. Second, if the person is still alive, we need to let them know the result of their actions or inactions in our lives. It is important to recognize that we are not discussing the issue to secure an apology because the reality is the person may not even remember what they did, or they may feel that they have done nothing wrong. Third, we have to forgive the person. I know you are asking why do we have to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. When we forgive, we loose ourselves from the shackles that have been holding us back from being whole. It’s time for us to stop living in the past, and live in the present. The present holds the key to our future, and we have to refuse to be limited by our past. It’s time to live! It’s time to be free! Aren’t you ready?