Love mends the broken hearts
Hearts that have been shattered by pain
Pain then becomes new love
I was thinking about a letter I wrote to my daughter in 2007, before she went to college. I asked her for this letter, and then remembered I kept a copy of my flash drive. This letter continues to be timely, and maybe it will inspire you to have a much needed conversation with your children, or maybe you need some inspiration. There are some grammar errors in this letter, but I decided to not change anything about the letter.
August 13, 2007
Where do I begin? It seems like yesterday you were biting people at church (lol)! The years have gone by so fast. Who would have thought we would be at this time so quickly in your life?? I am so happy and excited for you! This is a major milestone in your life. Off to college.
I am typing this letter to you because I want you to keep it and reflect on it those times when you may seem to forget what you focus is for going to college. When temptation is presented and you don’t know if you can resist the temptation. Grab this letter and read it quickly! There are so many things I want to tell you. Some last minute “nuggets” to help you along the way. Well, here goes:
IF YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I HAVE TAUGHT YOU, REMEMBER THESE TOP 10 THINGS:
10. Be true to yourself – Don’t let anyone stop you from being who you are. Don’t wear mask or be phony – be Kendra.
9. Have fun – you will have to have a balance between fun and school. Too much fun will be reflected in your grades. Too little fun and you will not be a happy person. You have to figure out that balance for yourself.
8. Boyfriends – I know you feel you are in love. Well, remember that you have to put love in perspective. Anyone who wants to be with you will understand the need for you to get off the phone, the computer, whatever means you all communicate. That person will be happy for you and be content in the fact that when it’s all said and done you are still with them. Any boy that doesn’t have your best interest at heart is not worth your time. Any boy who has no goals or aspirations to achieve success is not worth your time. You need someone who shares the same goals, aspirations and dreams that you have for life.
7. Sex – We have talked about this subject. For the record I will state my stance – no sex until you are married. If you decide to have sex, I pray you weigh out the consequences and see if that moment is worth your future. That’s all it takes is one mistake and your entire future can be altered. You say you want to be a doctor. Well, you have to live your life like you want to be a doctor. There will be plenty of time to have sex when you get married. There’s nothing like being able to have as much sex as you want and not have to be concerned about the risk of pregnancy, disease or death. It’s never to late to decide to abstain. Anytime you want to you can decide that you are going to wait until you are married to have sex.
6. Friends – everyone is not your friend or will want to be your friend. People will dislike you because you are beautiful and smart. Recognize when people are trying to use you. Get to know people before you share your private information. Don’t let people in your room until you feel you can trust them. I say meet them in the lounge. Some people will want to come into your room just to see what you have.
5. Alcohol – Don’t ever leave a drink sitting and come back and drink it. I don’t care who is sitting there. When I say drink I mean any type of drink. Never drive after drinking. Don’t ride with anyone who has had a drink. Don’t trust your life to anyone who has had any alcohol. I don’t care how “okay” they may seem. Don’t take a chance.
4. Seat belt – WEAR IT!
3. Intuition – If you feel something isn’t right, even if you don’t understand it; follow your intuition. If you feel like you shouldn’t go a certain way, don’t. If you feel like you shouldn’t do something, don’t. Follow your intuition.
2. Classes – If you don’t understand something – ask! This is money we are spending to get a good education! Make that teacher earn every dime. Don’t wait until test time to say you don’t understand. Get the help you need ASAP. Get to know people. If you need a study group, take the initiative and form one; because if you need help there is probably someone else who needs help too.
1. God – You’re going to need Him! Pray as much as possible. Let Him lead and guide you. He won’t lead you wrong. God is the key to you being successful. He said “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” Take your Bible with you. Read it! Go to church as much as you can. Church is where you will gain the strength you need to make it. You need to give God 10% of your time, just like you give him 10% of your money. You owe Him that!
I am here for you. You can tell me anything. Don’t ever forget that! I love you and I am going to miss you. I’m sad but I’m happy for this next phase of your life. So many people are in your corner and cheering you on. I’m sure you can tell from all the gifts and money you received. People are praying for you to be successful. I don’t want you to get sidetracked. Stay focused. I don’t want you to have to come home because you made a bad decision that alters your future. Every decision you make now affects your very future. Please remember that. Before you do anything, think about the positive and negative consequences. If it’s too many negatives, it’s not worth it!
You are beautiful, gifted, talented and intelligent! You are going to be successful!
I will be praying continuously for you!
What do you wish your parents had told you before you left home?
“Image courtesy of mrpuen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.
When we think of the month of February, our thoughts drift toward Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is a day that lovers demonstrate their love for each other. Is this a correct assessment? Actually, I believe a lot of women are preparing for the current love of their life to do something special for them on Valentine’s Day. Some women expect dinner, others expect dinner and a movie and there are even others that expect dinner, a movie and a gift.
The gift is the foundation of miscommunication.
Some women are expecting an expensive gift, and others that are just expecting a gift. We think in our minds that our men know us and should be able to choose a great gift! Well, we know the story. On Valentine’s night there are plenty of women whose expectations are not met, and they take to social media or their BFF’s phone to discuss how disgusted they are with their Valentine’s night and gift.
I have a remedy for avoiding feelings of disgust on Valentine’s night – LOVE YOURSELF! Do something special for yourself. Refuse to wait around for someone else to demonstrate their love for you. Let’s be serious. How many men have loved us the way we want to be loved, or even demonstrated love for us the way we want them to demonstrate their love. We can choose to love ourselves. When we love ourselves, we will be loved the way we expect to be loved. We will receive gifts that reflect the level of love we have for ourselves.
As we are loving ourselves, let’s stop setting ridiculous expectations. Valentine’s Day is one day out of the year. Is Valentine’s Day the only day you want a public display of love? I hope not! I want someone who will love me the way I love me – every day of the year and occasionally buy me a nice gift.
Check out the Valentine Writing Challenge here.