Marriage Is A Triathlon – Not A Sprint!

Recently, I was watching a video about training for a triathlon. A triathlon is a race that is split into three different activities: swimming, biking and running. Let me provide my disclaimer that I’m not ready for a triathlon. First, I have to learn how to swim. Learning how to swim is on my 2019 bucket list.

Back to triathlon training. I was curious about the preparation for a triathlon. After watching the video, I realized that preparing for a triathlon is similar to preparing for a lasting marriage. Let me explain.

You can’t just wake up one morning and go complete a triathlon! There’s some preparation involved. That preparation requires commitment. You have to decide to train so many times a week in preparation for the triathlon. Marriage takes commitment. You have to take your vows seriously and be committed to demonstrating your vows by your actions.

A triathlon requires dedication. There will be some days you don’t feel like training. There will be some days you would rather be spending your time doing something else. There will be days you won’t like training. However, you have to train anyway and remain dedicated to being prepared for the triathlon.

Marriage requires dedication. There will be some days that you don’t want to be married. There will be some days you don’t like your spouse. There will be some days you would rather be doing something else. When those days come and trust me they will, you have to remain dedicated to your marriage.

A triathlon requires some essential gear: a bike, helmet, shoes, swimming cap, goggles and a trisuit to name a few. Without the essential gear, you hinder your chances of doing your best. You want to do your best.

There’s some essential marriage gear: love, good communication, good sex, honesty, God and prayer to name a few. If you don’t have the essential marriage gear, it will be difficult to have a lasting marriage. Essential marriage gear is necessary and beneficial to a good marriage.

A good marriage deserves a good foundation. A good foundation begins with commitment, dedication and the essential gear. Are you ready for your triathlon?

Rules To Live By


I thank God I’ve survived so far and made most decisions using common sense. Common sense is priceless.

I just want to help others that may need need assistance navigating this journey called life.   These rules are not listed in any order of importance because they are all important.  Here’s some rules to live by:

Don’t burn bridges – 9 times out of 10 you’re going to need that person again.

Listen to your elders – you’ll have less headaches, heartaches and stress.

Practice good work ethics.

Don’t quit a job before you have the next job.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t buy into this romance movie happiness that includes statements like “you complete me.”

Don’t have sex with folks that just look good. Are they responsible? If a child results, will you have to put out an APB for them to help with the child? Would you want this woman to be the mother of your child? Do you want this person in your life for the rest of your life?

Don’t have sex in every relationship.  Is there a rule you have to have sex? Everybody ain’t worthy – ijs.

Surround yourself with folks that encourage and support you.

Learn how to be a real friend. Once you learn the real meaning, you may find out the folks you’ve been saying are on your squad are not on your squad.

Have a personal relationship with God. Give Him some of your time. He’s worthy.

*photo created by Samuel Zeller

Weight Loss God’s Way *Review*


This book Healthy by Design – Weight Loss, God’s Way is an awesome book along with areas to journal.  You will journal work purpose because you are answering specific questions to help you on your healthy lifestyle journey.

I’m motivated because the author helped me put in perspective how I place limits on God in specific areas of my life.  Specifically, in the area of weight loss.  I’m taking the limits off!

Checkout the website here

#weightlossgodsway

I received this book for free in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Hope Prevails!

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I signed up for a blogging challenge:  Building a Blogging Habit.  My first challenge is to free write for twenty minutes.  Free writing is beneficial in expressing yourself and just allowing your thoughts to flow.  I want to write on a more consistent basis because I have a lot to say.  I’m always thinking about something and have something to say about everything that I read.  Recently, I have been beyond shocked by the number of young people committing violent crimes.  I wonder what could go so wrong in a person’s mind that he or she thinks it is okay to attack others.  I know I will probably never find the answer, but I still think about it.

Two stories stood out to me:  the recent killings by the young man in California and a story I read today about two 12 year-old girls that plotted to attack another 12 year old.  The young man in California wanted vengeance and decided to be the source of retribution.  He took the time to write an entire manifesto about his intentions.  The young girls led another young girl to the woods, on the premise to play, and one held her down and the other stabbed her 19 times!  I can’t fathom the level of insanity in these young people’s thoughts.  I am not saying their crazy, but I am saying their thoughts were crazy.  How did they think this would end?  How could they think their actions made sense?  These are just two of the stories that have troubled me.

These stories cause me to pause and think of the world that my granddaughter will experience her childhood.  Her childhood is so different from her dad’s.  Her dad could go to the park and I believed he would make it home safely.  My granddaughter has to be supervised.  Not just because of her age, but because of pedophiles and predators.  The people who lay in wait to wreak havoc on others.  Because of these people, no one is safe.  This lack of safety manifests itself in our daily actions.  We have to always be aware of our surroundings and take precautions all the time.  We can do everything right and still can be a victim.  This harsh reality could cause us to feel hopeless, and decide to be a hermit.

However, I refuse to allow predators and pedophiles to dictate my life! I will not leave in fear because I am confident in the one that is still in control.  I know you may be wondering who I am talking about.  I’m talking about God.  He is still in control!  He holds my destiny in his hand.  He is concerned about me and this comforts me.  I know there are so many times I could have been harmed, but I have to pause and think of all the times I didn’t know danger was present.  I am grateful for God caring about me, and being concerned about everything that concerns me.  God is the source of my hope!  I love Him because He loves me!  I love Him for being the source of my strength and happiness.

Even though we live in a world that provides reasons to feel hopeless.  I yet have hope.  When I read a good story, my hope is strengthened.  When I view my facebook newsfeed and read about all of graduates, I have hope!  When I brows IG and see the graduations pics, I gain even more hope!  When I read the news, and read about someone doing something good for another human, my hope is strengthened even more!  Even though evil is ever present, good always wins!  I still believe in treating others the way I want to be treated.  There is still value in taking the time to be concerned about someone other than myself.  I choose to be a source of encouragement and positivity.  I want encouragement and positivity to be synonymous with my name.

Each of us can choose to be a source of encouragement and positivity.  It only takes one person to make a difference.  Will you choose to be that one?

For My Daughter…

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I was thinking about a letter I wrote to my daughter in 2007, before she went to college.  I asked her for this letter, and then remembered I kept a copy of my flash drive.  This letter continues to be timely, and maybe it will inspire you to have a much needed conversation with your children, or maybe you need some inspiration.  There are some grammar errors in this letter, but I decided to not change anything about the letter.

August 13, 2007

9:28PM

Kendra,

Where do I begin?  It seems like yesterday you were biting people at church (lol)!  The years have gone by so fast.  Who would have thought we would be at this time so quickly in your life??  I am so happy and excited for you!  This is a major milestone in your life.  Off to college.

I am typing this letter to you because I want you to keep it and reflect on it those times when you may seem to forget what you focus is for going to college.  When temptation is presented and you don’t know if you can resist the temptation.  Grab this letter and read it quickly!  There are so many things I want to tell you.  Some last minute “nuggets” to help you along the way.  Well, here goes:

IF YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I HAVE TAUGHT YOU, REMEMBER THESE TOP 10 THINGS:

10.  Be true to yourself – Don’t let anyone stop you from being who you are.  Don’t wear mask or be phony – be Kendra.

9.  Have fun – you will have to have a balance between fun and school.  Too much fun will be reflected in your grades. Too little fun and you will not be a happy person.  You have to figure out that balance for yourself.

8.  Boyfriends – I know you feel you are in love.  Well, remember that you have to put love in perspective.  Anyone who wants to be with you will understand the need for you to get off the phone, the computer, whatever means you all communicate.  That person will be happy for you and be content in the fact that when it’s all said and done you are still with them.  Any boy that doesn’t have your best interest at heart is not worth your time.  Any boy who has no goals or aspirations to achieve success is not worth your time.  You need someone who shares the same goals, aspirations and dreams that you have for life.

7.  Sex – We have talked about this subject.  For the record I will state my stance – no sex until you are married.  If you decide to have sex, I pray you weigh out the consequences and see if that moment is worth your future.  That’s all it takes is one mistake and your entire future can be altered.  You say you want to be a doctor.  Well, you have to live your life like you want to be a doctor.  There will be plenty of time to have sex when you get married.  There’s nothing like being able to have as much sex as you want and not have to be concerned about the risk of pregnancy, disease or death.  It’s never to late to decide to abstain.  Anytime you want to you can decide that you are going to wait until you are married to have sex.

6. Friends – everyone is not your friend or will want to be your friend.  People will dislike you because you are beautiful and smart.  Recognize when people are trying to use you.  Get to know people before you share your private information.  Don’t let people in your room until you feel you can trust them.  I say meet them in the lounge.  Some people will want to come into your room just to see what you have.

5.  Alcohol – Don’t ever leave a drink sitting and come back and drink it. I don’t care who is sitting there.  When I say drink I mean any type of drink.  Never drive after drinking.  Don’t ride with anyone who has had a drink. Don’t trust your life to anyone who has had any alcohol.  I don’t care how “okay” they may seem.  Don’t take a chance.

4.  Seat belt – WEAR IT!

3.  Intuition – If you feel something isn’t right, even if you don’t understand it; follow your intuition.  If you feel like you shouldn’t go a certain way, don’t.  If you feel like you shouldn’t do something, don’t.  Follow your intuition.

2.  Classes – If you don’t understand something – ask!  This is money we are spending to get a good education!  Make that teacher earn every dime.  Don’t wait until test time to say you don’t understand.  Get the help you need ASAP.  Get to know people.  If you need a study group, take the initiative and form one; because if you need help there is probably someone else who needs help too.

1.  God – You’re going to need Him!  Pray as much as possible.  Let Him lead and guide you.  He won’t lead you wrong.  God is the key to you being successful.  He said “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” Take your Bible with you.  Read it!  Go to church as much as you can.  Church is where you will gain the strength you need to make it.  You need to give God 10% of your time, just like you give him 10% of your money.  You owe Him that!

I am here for you. You can tell me anything.  Don’t ever forget that!  I love you and I am going to miss you.  I’m sad but I’m happy for this next phase of your life.  So many people are in your corner and cheering you on.  I’m sure you can tell from all the gifts and money you received.  People are praying for you to be successful.  I don’t want you to get sidetracked.  Stay focused.  I don’t want you to have to come home because you made a bad decision that alters your future.  Every decision you make now affects your very future.  Please remember that.  Before you do anything, think about the positive and negative consequences.  If it’s too many negatives, it’s not worth it!

You are beautiful, gifted, talented and intelligent!  You are going to be successful!

I will be praying continuously for you!

Much love,

Your Mom.

What do you wish your parents had told you before you left home?

“Image courtesy of mrpuen / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.