Category: Life Lessons

Rules To Live By

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I thank God I’ve survived so far and made most decisions using common sense. Common sense is priceless.

I just want to help others that may need need assistance navigating this journey called life.   These rules are not listed in any order of importance because they are all important.  Here’s some rules to live by:

Don’t burn bridges – 9 times out of 10 you’re going to need that person again.

Listen to your elders – you’ll have less headaches, heartaches and stress.

Practice good work ethics.

Don’t quit a job before you have the next job.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t buy into this romance movie happiness that includes statements like “you complete me.”

Don’t have sex with folks that just look good. Are they responsible? If a child results, will you have to put out an APB for them to help with the child? Would you want this woman to be the mother of your child? Do you want this person in your life for the rest of your life?

Don’t have sex in every relationship.  Is there a rule you have to have sex? Everybody ain’t worthy – ijs.

Surround yourself with folks that encourage and support you.

Learn how to be a real friend. Once you learn the real meaning, you may find out the folks you’ve been saying are on your squad are not on your squad.

Have a personal relationship with God. Give Him some of your time. He’s worthy.

*photo created by Samuel Zeller

To Be A Minority & Poor In Small Town America

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I grew up in what used to be called Pyramid Courts, which is now named Leroy McBride.  In these projects, I had some of the best times of my life.  It’s quite disturbing to read about the despair of the current residents.

Reading the article (the link is below) disgusted and angered me.  To read how those that are poor or less fortunate have been marginalized and their voice silenced further demonstrates how being a minority and poor is a double negative.

Chaos In Cairo
If you are disturbed as I am, please contact the HUD regional office and demand prompt action be taken to remedy this atrocity!

Chicago Regional Office

U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development

Antonio R. Riley – Regional Administrator

77 West Jackson Boulevard

Chicago, IL 60604

Phone: (312) 353-5680
Fax: (312) 913-8293

Fathers – A Lasting Impression 

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I was getting ready for work this morning and I began to think about my dad. As my birthday is fastly approaching, I wondered what would my dad think of me. I wondered would he like the person I have become, and would he be pleased with my morals and values.  

Then, I thought of one of my most vivid memories of my dad. I had to be four or five years old. I was living in Henry Horner projects – 1847 W Lake St, Apt. 806. I still remember. It was in the winter time and I was standing in front of my school. My mom had bundled me up and no one else was standing in front of the school. I realize now she must have dropped me off early to make it to work.

 
This man pulled up in a car and called my name. I went to the car and he said, “do you remember me?” I nodded my head and said, “Yes, you’re my daddy.” He had me get in the car to stay warm and he talked to me until it was time to go into the school. He told me he hadn’t seen me in a while, but that was going to change. I later found out I wasn’t seeing my dad because of my evil stepfather, but that’s another story.

Father’s make a permanent impression on their children. The time you spend holding your children when their babies, allowing them to sleep on your chest, feeding, bathing and all the other quality time you spend with them makes a difference. Even though time had passed, I knew “that man” was my daddy.

After my dad passed, I got a tattoo over my heart that says “Daddy’s Lil Girl.”  My dad always called me “daddy’s lil girl.” I was in my twenties and my dad was still calling me his “lil girl.” The special bond I had with my father has kept me grounded. When I feel like fighting as my mom would do, the peacemaking spirit I received from my dad prevails. My dad was the first man that loved me unconditionally. He showed me what unconditional love from a man looks and feels like.  

This is a call to action for father’s everywhere. I pray it’s not too late for you to make memories with your children that will help you leave a good permanent impression on your children. What do you want your children to say about you? Do you want them to remember you with good feelings, or do you want them to learn the hard way that you failed as a father. I plead with you to make a renewed commitment to your children and be the great father your children need you to be in their lives. 

Negative Nellies

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Negative Nellies

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We all know them, and may even consider some of them our friends.  We have some in our families, on our jobs and we encounter these type of people in our daily lives – Negative Nellies!  Negative Nellies seem to embody negativity.  No matter what you say positive, they will counter with something negative.

I had a conversation with my niece yesterday, and she was excited about applying for a job in a different career field.  This particular position offers more money and will require working some hours she has not previously worked.  She shared her excitement with two of her friends, and her friends had only negative comments to share.  The friends didn’t share anything positive or even attempt to encourage her in her quest for a different career path.  She contacted me and I encouraged her.

If we are not careful Negative Nellies can drain all of our positivity, and cause us to question our choices. Eventually, we could become a member of the Negative Nelly group.  What can we do to rid ourselves of Negative Nellies?

  • Confront negativity – be willing to have a constructive conversation with the Negative Nellies in your life that will hopefully lead to a positive change in their negative talk.
  • Use affirmations and positive quotes to assist in maintaining your positivity.
  • Be willing to make the difficult decision to remove Negative Nellies from your circle.

Are you ready to remove the Negative Nellies from your life?  It won’t be easy, but I believe you can do it!

Racism & Hatred

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Last night there was breaking news of a church shooting in Charlotte with little details.  This morning we wake up to the awful reality that a young, White man decided to enter a church, and after sitting for an hour (the unconfirmed report) stood up and allegedly said “I came to shoot Black people” and proceeded to do just what he said he came to do.  This is a horrific display of racism and hatred!

Since this tragedy, the above picture has bee my face.  I can’t bring myself to smile.  I must admit I am angry and said to a few people via text, I don’t want to look at any White people today! I know my coworkers haven’t done anything to me, but this was my genuine feeling.  It took me awhile to focus on my daily work.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the senselessness of this crime. I felt like those murdered where my family. 

I already knew the media would portray this young man as having a mental issue.  Just look at the pictures being posted of him.  The pictures make him look disturbed.  The media wants to induce us into a coma of believing this was simply a mentally disturbed young man, who just randomly went into Mother Emanuel AME Church last night.  However, that’s not true!! A young man, who hated Black people, chose a Black Historic landmark in Charlotte to display his hatred.

We are living in turbulent, traumatic times and we need to stop drinking the arsenic laced kool-aid that says racism is dead, and we have proof because we have a Black president.  Our children can go anywhere they want and be anything they want to be in life.  The only thing holding Black people back is their laziness and they want a handout!  Hogwash!  Have you viewed the news lately?  Have you read any articles lately?  Have you read any racist social media post lately?

Racism is alive and well, and racists are showing and telling us every day just how they really feel and we have some that are willing to even kill us to prove how much they hate us.  Wake up people!  We have work to do!

What’s In Your Bag?

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I know.  I know.  You don’t have to say it.  I carry a bookbag to work.  I was doing so good with minimizing the number of lipglosses/lipsticks that were in my bag.  I don’t even know when it happened, but it did. I’m no longer minimizing.  I mean I may change my mind about the lippie I want to wear, so a girl needs choices, right?

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We won’t even discuss the ones that’s not in my bag or the other “stuff” that’s in my bag, but I will say I can be entertained for hours.

When I look in my bag, I recognize several truths about myself:

1.  I love lipgloss and lipstick.
2.  I love to read.
3.  Technology is my friend.
4.  I love to read.

What does the stuff in your bag say about you?

Letting Go

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As we end 2014, let’s vow to leave some stuff that didn’t add anything positive to our lives in 2014. We should be tired of allowing people, circumstances and things to hinder our progress. We have to make ourselves a priority and not depend on others to make us a priority. Nobody will care about you the way you do.

Aren’t you tired of blaming others for your circumstance or situation? Don’t you want to make lasting changes that impact you forever? It’s time to just let it go. Whatever “it” may be, it’s time to say no more! Refuse to accept mediocrity and decide to operate with a spirit of excellence in every area of your life. Refuse to live a substandard existence – let it go!

Let go everything that has hindered your growth. Take back the power you have freely given to negative people, past situations and circumstances in your life. Sexual, emotional and mental abuse don’t have any power over you anymore! Financial problems and unemployment have to go!! Health and weight issues – power be gone!!

This post isn’t about making a New Year’s resolution. This post is about closing out 2014 with the determination to not allow what or who hindered you in 2014 to be a factor in 2015. Tell me, what’s the nonfactors you’re leaving in 2014.

Do You See Now?

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PSA – Now do you see why I am so serious about jury duty and voting?! Some refuse to go or find some way to get out of going. Well, did that grand jury reflect the community makeup? We have to make sure we do not miss an opportunity to be on a jury. I want to be judged by a jury of my peers, not folks who have no idea what being Black in America means.

Voting is essential. Specifically, voting for local government officials. When we don’t vote, we risk having people in positions of power that don’t care about all of the people in the community. We risk having police that are afraid of Black skin, so they shoot first and ask questions later.

The reality is a White person doesn’t understand my plight because he or she is not Black, and I don’t understand the plight of being White because I’m not White. What I can do is try to understand a White person’s plight by imagining how I would feel in the same situation and vice versa.

I am tired of White people saying why it’s always about race! It shows a lack of cultural and historical knowledge, when these words are uttered and saying you have Black friends means what?! Imagine being Black and walking in my shoes, then answer your own question.

The rioting saddens me. However, some don’t understand the need for change until their almighty dollar is impacted. Maybe a store owner will stop racial profiling Black customers after seeing his or her store in ruins. Maybe what rises up from the ashes will be a better Ferguson – a better America. Stay tuned. IMG_5495.JPG

Image courtesy of stock images at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Daddy, I Have A Lot To Tell You

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Daddy,

Since you’ve been gone, so much has happened. I almost don’t know where to begin. After you passed, I still expected the phone to ring and you to say how’s daddy’s little girl; even though I was fully grown with a husband and children of my own. Almost every day I think about you. When I look in the mirror, I see you. I see you in my children and even in my granddaughter.

That’s right!! I didn’t have the opportunity to tell you about all of the life changes. Kenny and Kendra are grown, and Kenny has a daughter. Kendra is married! Kwinton is grown and still trying to find his niche.

I earned my MBA in 2005, and you know I love school, so I’m working on another degree. You would’ve been so proud to attend all of our graduations and special events that have happened, since you’ve been gone.

I am so glad I had a dad like you. You represented everything good about daddies. You knew me better than anyone. You could tell in my voice, if something was wrong. I could depend on you to be there for me. You sacrificed for my siblings and me.

Because you are gone, my life has never been the same. People say time heals all wounds. I don’t believe that. I believe the wound doesn’t heal. I have just learned to keep living my life without you. I miss you so much and will forever be appreciative of your love.

With infinite love,

Daddy’s Lil’ Girl