The Price of Silence

I didn’t watch the R Kelly documentary last night, and don’t plan to watch. I have read some of the posts that have came across my newsfeed. So, teenage girls are fast and were given what they wanted 😳😑😑. Men have been doing it forever, so it’s ok?!! Nothing was said about Elvis Presley and other white men?!! I almost can’t place into words my reaction to these statements!

Are y’all serious?! So, this is how we make it okay to victimize young people?!!! I wonder if it was your child would you still have those feelings? We have sexualized Black children and held them accountable like they are adults, and this is wrong! These are children! There are grown women and men that have been bamboozled by abusers and we expect children to recognize an abuser and say no?!

I am a victim of sexual abuse by a family member and an authority figure. I was just a child and didn’t know what to do. I told on the authority figure and he publicly shamed me while I wasn’t present. He said I was lying on him, and people believed him. I never looked at him the same again. I forgave him for my growth, but I told my mom if he doesn’t ask God for forgiveness in hell will he lift up his eyes.

I’ve never said anything to the family member. Since I’ve been grown, I finally told my mom. I forgave the family member too, but a conversation needs to take place for that person to know the affect of their actions. The sad part is the person probably doesn’t even remember because I’m sure I wasn’t the only one.

Quit blaming victims. If you still choose to listen to R Kelly’s music that’s your choice, but don’t blame victims to make you feel better about your choice!

Reflections

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou

2018 hasn’t been my best year. Learning to live on without my mom has not been easy. I’ve had good days and I’ve had days where I stayed in the bed with the covers pulled over my head. I’ve learned to go with the flow and live in the moment. If I feel like crying, I go ahead and cry. I’ve learned to embrace and acknowledge my feelings, so I can move forward.

2018 has been the year for dealing with my emotions. I used to bury my emotions. Burying emotions is not good, and only leads to an explosion. An explosion affects everyone that has any contact with me. I no longer wanted to be that explosion.

Choosing not to be that explosion led to me having to deal with some things in each area of my life. I chose to deal with every area of my life and in the process learn to handle the outcome.

I’m stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. 2018 has been about being better: a better me, better wife, better mother and better friend.

Every valley and mountain has molded me into the woman I am today. I’m looking with expectation to 2019. Yet striving to BE BETTER!

Picture This!


Would you be able to get over it? How about that happen a long time ago, so let it go?! I’m not racist; that was my ancestors. I don’t see color. We all are equal. The constitution is for all of us. Show your patriotism by standing and pledging allegiance to the flag.  

From the beginning, this country was built on my ancestors backs. Mass prison incarceration is modern day slavery. The very laws were not created as me being equal. My people were not counted as a whole being, but 3/5! While the forefathers were talking about liberty and justice for all, my people were being used as free labor; and if they didn’t comply murdered!  

So, the next time you want to tell me to get over it, or that happen a long time ago, which I have been told by White and Black people; picture this image and hush! This is my platform and I will use it to inform about issues that impact my people, me and those that empathize with our struggle.

Negative Nellies

Negative Nellies

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We all know them, and may even consider some of them our friends.  We have some in our families, on our jobs and we encounter these type of people in our daily lives – Negative Nellies!  Negative Nellies seem to embody negativity.  No matter what you say positive, they will counter with something negative.

I had a conversation with my niece yesterday, and she was excited about applying for a job in a different career field.  This particular position offers more money and will require working some hours she has not previously worked.  She shared her excitement with two of her friends, and her friends had only negative comments to share.  The friends didn’t share anything positive or even attempt to encourage her in her quest for a different career path.  She contacted me and I encouraged her.

If we are not careful Negative Nellies can drain all of our positivity, and cause us to question our choices. Eventually, we could become a member of the Negative Nelly group.  What can we do to rid ourselves of Negative Nellies?

  • Confront negativity – be willing to have a constructive conversation with the Negative Nellies in your life that will hopefully lead to a positive change in their negative talk.
  • Use affirmations and positive quotes to assist in maintaining your positivity.
  • Be willing to make the difficult decision to remove Negative Nellies from your circle.

Are you ready to remove the Negative Nellies from your life?  It won’t be easy, but I believe you can do it!

10 Things I’m Too Old To Do…

I posted this on Facebook several months ago.  I’m posting this on my Blog as a reminder to myself and others.

10. Lie – grown folks ain’t got no business doing that (yes, I said ain’t got no!)

9. Wear rachet clothes fashions 

8. Being seen in the same club with my children! (Absolutely not)

7. Bad work attendance (seriously)

6. Blaming others for my shortcomings

5. Cheating – go sat your old tail down!

4. Facebook drama (go cap lock @ work!)

3. Stalking my man’s FB, Twitter, Instagram while sneaking in his phone while he sleep! (Private eye much!)

2. Teething (this wisdom tooth kicking my butt)

1. Play with God!