I’m Tired!

Almost every time another Black man is murdered, I think about when the Harvey police pulled my son over and pointed their guns in his face! He had done nothing wrong. He had just left Ingalls from visiting his dad after his dad’s surgery.

I think about how they could’ve murdered my son for nothing!! We would’ve probably never found out what really happened because folks were not recording like they are today. They would’ve tried to paint my son as a criminal. God protected my son that day!!

I have been mostly reflecting and not doing a lot of talking about what people should or should not be doing. I don’t have the answers and neither do you.

I know I’m tired! I’m tired of Black people being murdered by police. I’m tired of encountering racist behavior from others. I’m tired of white privilege. I’m tired of us being mistreated because of the color of our skin. I’m tired of having to navigate through this world in defensive mode ALL THE TIME!

I’m tired of folks who sit on high horses like they do everything right and use their platform to bash others for the choices they make. I’m tired of folks comparing what’s happening to the crime that happens in communities. It’s not the same! If I kill someone, I’m going to jail. Police don’t seem to have that same understanding.

I’m tired of folks want to speak out about how wrong the rioting is, but didn’t speak out about a Black man being murdered. I’m tired of folks who love Black culture, but don’t like Black people. I’m tired of these protest calisthenics: make your profile picture Black, don’t buy anything on this day, boycott this company, cancel this person and NOTHING has changed!

Black people are still being murdered by police, Black people are still being murdered by the local neighborhood racists, companies are still producing racially insensitive advertising and products, we are still being followed around stores, we are still being questioned about why we are in certain spaces, we are still being falsely accused and imprisoned, and we are still having to fight to wear the hair that grows out of our heads! I AM TIRED!

My Holy Grail Hair Products


Frequently, I am asked what products do I use on my hair.   During a certain period of time in my natural hair journey,  I was a product junkie and tried a lot of products.   I was searching  for the magic products for my hair. Once I took the time to learn the texture, porosity,  and elasticity of my hair;  I was able to choose the correct products for my hair.

My holy grail products are pictured above,  and every product was purchased with my own money.

I LOVE Body Shop’s Rainforest Moisture Shampoo!  This is one of the few shampoos that I have used that lives up to its name.  When I finish washing my hair, it feel clean and moisturized.  Other shampoos I have used would leave my hair feeling clean, but dry.  This shampoo is a winner!

Curl Junkie’s Beauticurl’s Aragon & Olive Oil Daily Hair Conditioner is the truth!  This conditioner seems to instantly detangle, as well as moisturize my hair.  It can be used as a leave-in conditioner too.

Trader Joe’s Nourish Spa Balance Moisturizing Conditioner is the conditioner I use to co-wash.  This conditioner has great slip and provides a good moisture boost for my hair.  This conditioner is less than three dollars at Trader Joe’s.

Eden BodyWorks Coconut Shea Cleansing CoWash is used for cowashing too.  I love the slip and the moisture it provides to my hair.  When I finish using the cowash, I don’t feel the need to add a leave-in conditioner to my hair.

Oyin Handmade products have been a mainstay in my regimen, since I discovered them in my second year of being natural.  I consistently purchase the Honey Hemp, Hair Dew and Juices & Berries for my hair.  I use the Honey Hemp for cowashing and a leave-in conditioner.  During the summer months, I use Hair Dew for a leave-in and the Juices & Berries as a refresher.

I wasn’t big on deep conditioning.  Since I have my hair colored, I know deep conditioning is essential.  There are two deep conditioners that provide the moisture and restorative conditioning my hair needs:  The Coiffed Cafe Cocoa Conniption and Blue Roze Beauty’s Cocoa Coffee Rhassoul Hair Mask.  These two products may not be available, but the product makers will have comparable products.  I love the chocolate smell of both and my hair feels soft and conditioned, after a treatment with either of these products.

I hope my Holy Grail’s can help you in your search for great products and excellent product makers!


Naturally Curly Problem #5,999



There are Black girls with naturally curly hair.  No, I didn’t place anything special in my hair to make it curl.  This brand of specialness came via DNA.  I’m mixed with the same races you’re mixed.  I don’t have a good hair!  My texture just happens to be curly.  I struggle with my texture because there isn’t much I can do with it.  Twistouts, twistins or whatever styles are being called today are not my friends. Gel is my enemy.

I literally wash and go.  Wash it or cowash, slap some leave in condish in my hair and keep it moving.  I’m tired of being looked at like I’m part of the circus, and being questioned about my hair like I’m lying.  I had a lady tell me I must be Indian, and she kept calling me a little Indian.  I held my tongue because both of us didn’t have to be ignorant.  When I see others with a style I like, I compliment and keep going.  I wish my hair was kinkier!  The styling options have no limits.  Let me offer a few tips for those that suffer from diarrhea of the mouth:

1.  Google is your friend.  Use it!

2.  If you have 50-11 questions, just stop it!

3.  If you get ready to ask a question or make a statement and it sounds ignorant to you,

it’s ignorant!  Keep calm and remain silent.

4.  Please don’t pet a natural hair.  We are not poodles and your hand might get slapped!

5.  Embrace your texture.

6.  Products can’t curl hair that isn’t curly.  Don’t believe the hype!

7.  If all else fails, follow tip #1.

Natural Hair Care Basics


I have had long hair for most of my life. When I was growing up, I was rarely afforded the opportunity to wear ponytails. My mom would braid my hair for the week, and only allowed cute ponytails on school picture day. When I was in junior high, I begged my mom for a relaxer. My mom has never relaxed her hair. Once I became an adult, I would have my hair cut short in the summer and then allow it to grow long for the rest of the year. I wore relaxers for years, and in 2008 I decided to return to my natural texture.

In my quest to learn how to care for my natural texture, I viewed popular YouTube vloggers, read books about natural hair care and joined various natural hair care websites. Along the way I made some mistakes in listening to what “others” said about caring for my hair. I remember one YouTuber saying split ends were a thing of the past, and I did not have to have trims. I listened to that foolery for about nine months! When I went into the salon because my hair wasn’t acting right, my stylist told me I had major split end issues. I had to have a haircut! This YouTuber didn’t mention the impact having colored treated hair played into needing regular trims. This natural hair defining moment forced me to find out what I needed to know about my hair. I encourage you to do the same. There are three major types of information you will need to learn about your hair. I learned these things about my hair courtesy of Live Curly Live Free, which is the company that created the information presented below:

First, your hair texture. Hair texture is determined by the diameter of your hair strand. Hair texture is classified in three categories: fine, medium and coarse. Some individuals have all three categories on their head. Your hair texture is important because hair texture determines how you should care for your hair, the cut of your hair and the type of services you should have on your hair, such as coloring or texturizing.

Second, the porosity of your hair. Hair porosity determines the hair’s ability to absorb and retain moisture. Hair porosity is defined by three categories: high, low or normal. This factor is key in knowing how to retain hair moisture.

Finally, the elasticity of your hair. Elasticity is the ability for the hair to stretch and then return to its original length without breaking. Elasticity dictates the ability of hair to hold its curl, whether natural or created by other methods.

I’m going to do you a favor and not provide all of the information for you, but encourage you to conduct your own research and find the answers to your hair’s texture, porosity and elasticity. Once you know these things, you will know how to choose the right products for your hair.

Happy Researching!