Marriage Is A Triathlon – Not A Sprint!

Recently, I was watching a video about training for a triathlon. A triathlon is a race that is split into three different activities: swimming, biking and running. Let me provide my disclaimer that I’m not ready for a triathlon. First, I have to learn how to swim. Learning how to swim is on my 2019 bucket list.

Back to triathlon training. I was curious about the preparation for a triathlon. After watching the video, I realized that preparing for a triathlon is similar to preparing for a lasting marriage. Let me explain.

You can’t just wake up one morning and go complete a triathlon! There’s some preparation involved. That preparation requires commitment. You have to decide to train so many times a week in preparation for the triathlon. Marriage takes commitment. You have to take your vows seriously and be committed to demonstrating your vows by your actions.

A triathlon requires dedication. There will be some days you don’t feel like training. There will be some days you would rather be spending your time doing something else. There will be days you won’t like training. However, you have to train anyway and remain dedicated to being prepared for the triathlon.

Marriage requires dedication. There will be some days that you don’t want to be married. There will be some days you don’t like your spouse. There will be some days you would rather be doing something else. When those days come and trust me they will, you have to remain dedicated to your marriage.

A triathlon requires some essential gear: a bike, helmet, shoes, swimming cap, goggles and a trisuit to name a few. Without the essential gear, you hinder your chances of doing your best. You want to do your best.

There’s some essential marriage gear: love, good communication, good sex, honesty, God and prayer to name a few. If you don’t have the essential marriage gear, it will be difficult to have a lasting marriage. Essential marriage gear is necessary and beneficial to a good marriage.

A good marriage deserves a good foundation. A good foundation begins with commitment, dedication and the essential gear. Are you ready for your triathlon?

Forgiveness – The Key to Freedom



We have all had to encounter situations with others that require forgiveness. Some of us have successfully maneuvered the waters of forgiveness, while others are still held captive by unforgiveness. Being held captive by unforgiveness produces a domino effect of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. These feelings are counterproductive to our emotional progress. Without emotional progress our emotional intelligence growth is stunted. Have you met people who have a stunted emotional intelligence growth? I’m sure you have. I know I have!

A lack of emotional intelligence leads to an inability to have positive relationships, trust issues, depression, stress, the blame syndrome and even death. Those that lack emotional intelligence has a tendency to blame the person or the situation that needs to be forgiven for the problems in their lives. They continue to live in the past. They discuss the source or situation that led to unforgiveness as if it happened yesterday. They never seem to be able to move past the situation.

Harboring unforgiveness allows the situation or the person involved in the situation to control you. The very source of our unforgiveness continues to control our lives. Every twist and turn of our lives is ruled by unforgiveness. Living a life in this manner is not conducive to a positive, successful life. What can we do to rid ourselves of this unforgiveness?

There are several steps we can take to begin a life free of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. First, write out how we feel about the situation and the person. Keeping this inside is allowing the hurt and anger to linger. Second, if the person is still alive, we need to let them know the result of their actions or inactions in our lives. It is important to recognize that we are not discussing the issue to secure an apology because the reality is the person may not even remember what they did, or they may feel that they have done nothing wrong. Third, we have to forgive the person. I know you are asking why do we have to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. When we forgive, we loose ourselves from the shackles that have been holding us back from being whole. It’s time for us to stop living in the past, and live in the present. The present holds the key to our future, and we have to refuse to be limited by our past. It’s time to live! It’s time to be free! Aren’t you ready?