Category: Choices

Humans over Animals

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I don’t care about an endangered gorilla being killed. People are being murdered in the streets, children are being abused and molested, the elderly are being mistreated, and the poor and homeless are shunned like they have leprosy! This list can go on and on.

I’m appalled at the number of comments I have seen saying they should’ve let the child die instead of killing the gorilla, and all the comments about the mother’s parenting skills. I wasn’t there, so I won’t judge her parenting skills. 

 Standing on the outside looking in is a very comfortable place to be to analyze what someone else should’ve been doing.  

I know I’ve been in the store and told my granddaughter to stand beside me while I looked at clothes, only for her to move, as children will do. I thank God in that few minutes nothing happened to her. 

We are living in perilous and treacherous times. Some would rather an animal lived, and a child died. Some have skewed ethics and values. These are the last days!

I’m grateful a child lived!

Pet Peeve #1

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I’m doing a series of vlogs to share my pet peeves.  I’m posting them in no particular order.  Each one shares equal importance of being on my list of topics that will illicit an emotional response from me that I say is passionate, and some may say is anger.  We can debate the emotion expressed forever, but these are my pet peeves.


Do you have any pet peeves?

More pet peeves to come…

Life Lesson From A Six Year Old

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My daughter and I were discussing politics with my granddaughter. My granddaughter wouldn’t listen to us telling her she wasn’t old enough to vote. My daughter kept messing with her until my granddaughter calmly said TCOB.
We immediately asked, “What is TCOB?” She said, “Take Care of Your Own Business.” We laughed! I asked her, “Where did you learn that?” She said, “From my teacher at school. That’s what we say when somebody is in our business.” I said, “When you say TCOB, what does the person do?” She said, “They get out of your business.”

What an awesome life lesson for a six-year-old! She’s already learning to mind her own business, while keeping people out of her business. She’s being taught how to positively communicate what could be considered negative feedback to some.

Taking Care of Your Own Business requires focus and determination. If I’m taking care of my business, I don’t have time to focus on your business.

The next time someone tries to be in your business just tell them

Do You Wanna Be Happy?

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When I found this meme, it resonated with the core of my being. We live in a world where some people place their happiness in the hands of others. Why would a person choose to allow someone else to have that much power over them? I want to make sure I understand: How the person feels or treats you controls your happiness?! I refuse to allow anyone that much power over me!

We watch movies, videos and TV; and believe that another’s love makes us happy. We buy into the false reality we see in the media and believe statements like:

I can’t live without you.

I can’t breathe without you.

You complete me.

As long as I have you, I’m happy.

  
Guess who’s responsible for your happiness? You are! It’s selfish of you to make me or anyone else responsible for your happiness. I’m trying to handle my happiness. Do you want to know why you are responsible for your happiness? Because you’re accountable for your actions and inactions. 

 
It’s easy to make someone else responsible because then you are able to play the “blame game.” It’s always someone else’s fault. No, it’s your fault! You own your happiness. If you’re not happy, it’s time for self-reflection. It’s time to ask yourself some difficult questions and be man or woman enough to acknowledge what’s hindering your happiness.

Here’s my Happiness Plan:

1. Self-reflection: Time to determine why happiness eludes me.

2. A Plan: What am I going to do to be happy? Write it down. Create a vision board.  

3. Make it happen: Put your plan in action.

Let me know how my plan works for you. I can’t wait to read your happiness reports!

*I am not the creator of the above memes and was unable to locate the creators to provide proper acknowledgement*

Where’s Our Support?

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Black women know what it means to struggle. We struggle with the various roles we play in our lives and the lives of others. We struggle with that S for Superwoman that has been placed on our chests. A lot of times we place that S on our chests, and then there are times others place that S on our chests. Even after we successfully navigate through each day for ourselves and our families, I’m still amazed at those who treat us like we are second class citizens.

Well, second class citizens is a stretch. We are treated like we don’t have any rights. It saddens me that we feel the harsh sting of this treatment from our own Black men. I’m used to other races treating us inferior, but to be treated inferior by Black men upsets me.

You ask me why does this upset me? I’ll tell you why. Black women have always been supportive of Black men. We work and take care of our homes when Black men can’t or won’t take care of our homes. We take care of our Black children when Black men can’t or won’t take care of our children. We are the ones that give you that second, third and fourth chance, when you mess up. So, where’s our support?

Oh, you may say we have supported Black women. Have you? As a majority have Black men supported us? Oh, you will use us for what we have to offer, but where’s our support?

Where’s the support when we are being killed by the police? Where’s the marching and the public outcry by Black men? Where’s the support when another Black man hits us? Why do you turn your head and say it’s not your problem, or say that’s what she gets? Where’s the support when we are being sexually degraded in music lyrics or made fun of about our looks? Where’s the support when we are being called bitches and thots?

When are Black men going to speak up as a majority and say you will respect Black women?! You will not place your hands on a Black woman! I will not be a part of a conversation that degrades Black women.

Oh we struggle, but one area we don’t struggle with is supporting Black men. Where’s our support?

Rules To Live By

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I thank God I’ve survived so far and made most decisions using common sense. Common sense is priceless.

I just want to help others that may need need assistance navigating this journey called life.   These rules are not listed in any order of importance because they are all important.  Here’s some rules to live by:

Don’t burn bridges – 9 times out of 10 you’re going to need that person again.

Listen to your elders – you’ll have less headaches, heartaches and stress.

Practice good work ethics.

Don’t quit a job before you have the next job.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t buy into this romance movie happiness that includes statements like “you complete me.”

Don’t have sex with folks that just look good. Are they responsible? If a child results, will you have to put out an APB for them to help with the child? Would you want this woman to be the mother of your child? Do you want this person in your life for the rest of your life?

Don’t have sex in every relationship.  Is there a rule you have to have sex? Everybody ain’t worthy – ijs.

Surround yourself with folks that encourage and support you.

Learn how to be a real friend. Once you learn the real meaning, you may find out the folks you’ve been saying are on your squad are not on your squad.

Have a personal relationship with God. Give Him some of your time. He’s worthy.

*photo created by Samuel Zeller

Negative Nellies

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Negative Nellies

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We all know them, and may even consider some of them our friends.  We have some in our families, on our jobs and we encounter these type of people in our daily lives – Negative Nellies!  Negative Nellies seem to embody negativity.  No matter what you say positive, they will counter with something negative.

I had a conversation with my niece yesterday, and she was excited about applying for a job in a different career field.  This particular position offers more money and will require working some hours she has not previously worked.  She shared her excitement with two of her friends, and her friends had only negative comments to share.  The friends didn’t share anything positive or even attempt to encourage her in her quest for a different career path.  She contacted me and I encouraged her.

If we are not careful Negative Nellies can drain all of our positivity, and cause us to question our choices. Eventually, we could become a member of the Negative Nelly group.  What can we do to rid ourselves of Negative Nellies?

  • Confront negativity – be willing to have a constructive conversation with the Negative Nellies in your life that will hopefully lead to a positive change in their negative talk.
  • Use affirmations and positive quotes to assist in maintaining your positivity.
  • Be willing to make the difficult decision to remove Negative Nellies from your circle.

Are you ready to remove the Negative Nellies from your life?  It won’t be easy, but I believe you can do it!

Racism & Hatred

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Last night there was breaking news of a church shooting in Charlotte with little details.  This morning we wake up to the awful reality that a young, White man decided to enter a church, and after sitting for an hour (the unconfirmed report) stood up and allegedly said “I came to shoot Black people” and proceeded to do just what he said he came to do.  This is a horrific display of racism and hatred!

Since this tragedy, the above picture has bee my face.  I can’t bring myself to smile.  I must admit I am angry and said to a few people via text, I don’t want to look at any White people today! I know my coworkers haven’t done anything to me, but this was my genuine feeling.  It took me awhile to focus on my daily work.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the senselessness of this crime. I felt like those murdered where my family. 

I already knew the media would portray this young man as having a mental issue.  Just look at the pictures being posted of him.  The pictures make him look disturbed.  The media wants to induce us into a coma of believing this was simply a mentally disturbed young man, who just randomly went into Mother Emanuel AME Church last night.  However, that’s not true!! A young man, who hated Black people, chose a Black Historic landmark in Charlotte to display his hatred.

We are living in turbulent, traumatic times and we need to stop drinking the arsenic laced kool-aid that says racism is dead, and we have proof because we have a Black president.  Our children can go anywhere they want and be anything they want to be in life.  The only thing holding Black people back is their laziness and they want a handout!  Hogwash!  Have you viewed the news lately?  Have you read any articles lately?  Have you read any racist social media post lately?

Racism is alive and well, and racists are showing and telling us every day just how they really feel and we have some that are willing to even kill us to prove how much they hate us.  Wake up people!  We have work to do!

What’s In Your Bag?

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I know.  I know.  You don’t have to say it.  I carry a bookbag to work.  I was doing so good with minimizing the number of lipglosses/lipsticks that were in my bag.  I don’t even know when it happened, but it did. I’m no longer minimizing.  I mean I may change my mind about the lippie I want to wear, so a girl needs choices, right?

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We won’t even discuss the ones that’s not in my bag or the other “stuff” that’s in my bag, but I will say I can be entertained for hours.

When I look in my bag, I recognize several truths about myself:

1.  I love lipgloss and lipstick.
2.  I love to read.
3.  Technology is my friend.
4.  I love to read.

What does the stuff in your bag say about you?