Rejection is Not the Final Answer

Rejection seems cruel and we don’t feel good after being rejected.  Nobody wants to be rejected for any reason, but rejection does happen.  Rejection is not the final answer.  It’s how we handle the rejection.

Recently, I experienced rejection at work.  I wasn’t happy, and I’ll admit that I haven’t fully recovered from feeling rejected.  However, I learned some lessons from the rejection that will help me achieve success.

In every trial and test we go through we have to determine what am I supposed to learn from this experience.  Our comeback determines our future success. 

 Here’s some lessons I have learned from rejection:

1.  I can say no. So many times we relinquish our power by giving in to be used, but saying no reclaims our power over our future.
2. I have a lot to offer. The skills and experiences that I bring to the table speak for themselves. It’s time I recognize that and not expect anyone else to validate me.

3. Write my vision for my future and begin to set my vision in motion by completing tasks that will get me closer to the fruition of my vision.

4. Take the limits off of me. Don’t limit myself to being placed in a box with a lid, but enlarge my territory and refuse to have lids placed on me.

5. Don’t be afraid to take chances.  

6. Always remember I have value, and refuse to allow anyone to belittle my value in their actions or deeds.

7. I can be angry and not act out. There’s a way to express myself without negativity being attached to my words or actions.

8. Let it go! Don’t let this situation hinder my progress.

9. I choose to make feeling rejected a temporary feeling. 

10. Learn all I can because I want my results to be maturity and growth.

Rejection doesn’t feel good, but the lessons learned from rejection are priceless.

When You’re Drowning in Staying Woke and Being Deep

There are some folks that are just too woke and deep for their own good. When does good ol common sense kick in? When does analyzing the decisions and actions of others go to far? Quit trying to psychoanalyze every word and action. Let it go and recognize it is what it is. Some stuff is just not that deep!
Here are some mantras to remember to remove yourself from drowning in being woke and deep:

1. Everybody doesn’t have to agree with you.

2. It’s not your job to change my mind.

3. Speak your truth.

4. Every statement doesn’t require reading between the lines. Some people actually say what they mean, and mean what they say.

5. Self-inspection is free. Try it sometimes because maybe just maybe your lack of self-inspection is the real issue.

6. Quit passing your personal issues on to others. Deal with your issues!

7. Choose to place your soapbox on the shelf.


When Silence Isn’t Golden

I have been a church girl the majority of my life, and church has been instrumental in my development. I remember completing homework, while at church. If church was going on, we were in attendance. It didn’t matter what day of the week or what time church would be over, were were present and still had to attend school the next day.

We learned a lot of Bible facts and increased our biblical knowledge, but one area was missed in our education – sex education. Oh we had sex education at school, but at church we were told don’t do it and at home we were taught nothing about sex. Let me clarify – I wasn’t taught anything about sex.

I remember the one conversation that I had with my mother about sex. A few of my classmates were pregnant, and I asked my mom what would she do if I told her I was pregnant. She said, “I will kill you!” I believed her. That’s the only conversation we had that even remotely involved sex.

Fast forward to a night on a school bus returning from playing basketball, and the conversation was “who had had sex and with who.” I had not had sex, but I wanted to fit in for a change. I lied saying I had sex. I didn’t figure out until later that the older girls were asking the younger girls the questions, but never told about themselves…

I mention this moment because maybe, just maybe being able to talk to my mom about sex could have prepared me for moments like that. Maybe I would have been more confident in being a virgin, and not ashamed to admit I was still a virgin. Maybe I could have provided other virgins the courage to stand in their truth.

I stumbled through my teens not knowing the importance of my virginity. Only being told sex was bad, and church girls didn’t have sex until they were married. Parents and church leaders forgot some important information along the way. What happened to equipping me with knowledge other than sex is bad?! Sex isn’t bad. Sex feels good!

The church and my parents failed me in this area. I needed to be taught the value of my virginity. I needed to be taught that every choice has a consequence. I needed to be taught that with having sex comes responsibility. Was I ready to discuss sexual preferences with a sex partner? What about getting tested for STDs? What if I become pregnant? Would I want this person in my life for essentially the rest of my life? Am I willing to share what makes me feel good sexually?

Having these conversations in a youth group or in a safe environment, would have prepared me for my future sex life. Instead I stumbled along. I tripped and ultimately I fell until finally I learned with the help of my husband.

I vowed to have open and honest communication about sex with my children, and children I have taught along my journey. When we only say sex is bad, we do a disservice to our children. We need to tell the truth, educate our children so they make good decisions, and more importantly confide in us. We want them to value our opinion, and seek out our wisdom as they make life altering decisions.

I’m Sick & Tired!

I’m sick and tired of people trying to tell me to get over it and deal with it he’s the president.
I’m sick and tired of hearing give him a chance. Who did he give a chance? Did he give Pres. Obama a chance? Did he try to facilitate positive change in our country? Did he give people that look like me a chance? Did he give women a chance? No he didn’t!
I’m sick and tired of  hearing it’s not that serious. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. When I heard Lil Hands state over and over he’s going to “make America great again,” while attempting to fill his cabinet with mega rich, predominantly White males who have little if any experience in the areas they are being nominated; it’s a big deal! When known White supremacist are being placed in key positions that can only “make America outwardly racists again,” it’s a big deal!

I’m sick and tired of hearing he’s all citizens of the United States president. I’ll still be shouting he’s not my president! I didn’t vote for him. We don’t share the same basic truth that all men and women are created equal. How can two walk together except they agree? It would be one thing if our differences in opinions were just politics. However, that’s not the issue. We don’t agree on foundational morals and ethics. Cheetoh Man has serious character flaws, and clearly he’s not willing to change because he’s always right!
I’m sick and tired of my own people. We complain, but don’t include a solution for our complaint. We allow the dollar to rule our decision making, when we should take a stand. In the face of opposition we can look through history and read where our people took a stand. They stood for something that mattered! Where is that today? Yet, these are the type of people we allow our children to emulate.

I’m sick and tired, yet I’m more determined than ever to be an instrument of change. I’ll talk about what I’m committing to do in my next post.

There’s Always A Lesson 

As 2016 comes to an end, I reflect on the lessons I’ve learned about myself and others. These lessons have been eye openers. Each lesson has caused me to grow, made me stronger and continued to shape me into the woman I am right now.
I realize that even though these lessons hurt I am not mad at anyone. It is what it is. I sleep well at night because I treat people the way I want to be treated. As difficult as it has been, I have remained consistent in how I treat others.

The lessons I’ve learned are in no particular order of importance. However, each lesson has defined me and played a significant role in my most recent development.

When I need encouraging, I have to encourage myself. As much as I have encouraged others, I didn’t receive that in return. I had some valley experiences that I had to encourage myself because that same gift I have to recognize when others need encouragement wasn’t operating in the lives of those that I encountered on a daily basis. Encouraging myself caused me to rely more on God than people.

It doesn’t matter how nice I am to others, there will always be someone that doesn’t like me. I used to care. I used to wonder why doesn’t this person like me, what could I do to make him or her like me or what did I do to cause him or her not to like me? This past year I’m over caring about how others feel about me. I can’t be responsible for someone else’s feelings. I’m going to be me.

People that I considered my friends did not feel the same way about me. This lesson was a shock to my system, and begin to cause me to build a familiar wall of protection around myself. This wall would lead to me separating myself from others.

As I was taking a shower one morning, God reminded me that He made me different from others. That difference is what allows me to be so transparent and open to others. This realization destroyed the wall, and replaced it with a greeter assurance of who I am.

This year has included some ups and downs, but I won’t complain. I’m still here. I lived, I learned and I grew. I’m looking forward to 2017 with great expectation!

Letting Go


As we end 2014, let’s vow to leave some stuff that didn’t add anything positive to our lives in 2014. We should be tired of allowing people, circumstances and things to hinder our progress. We have to make ourselves a priority and not depend on others to make us a priority. Nobody will care about you the way you do.

Aren’t you tired of blaming others for your circumstance or situation? Don’t you want to make lasting changes that impact you forever? It’s time to just let it go. Whatever “it” may be, it’s time to say no more! Refuse to accept mediocrity and decide to operate with a spirit of excellence in every area of your life. Refuse to live a substandard existence – let it go!

Let go everything that has hindered your growth. Take back the power you have freely given to negative people, past situations and circumstances in your life. Sexual, emotional and mental abuse don’t have any power over you anymore! Financial problems and unemployment have to go!! Health and weight issues – power be gone!!

This post isn’t about making a New Year’s resolution. This post is about closing out 2014 with the determination to not allow what or who hindered you in 2014 to be a factor in 2015. Tell me, what’s the nonfactors you’re leaving in 2014.

Three Songs


There are three songs that have been pivotal in my life. These songs have helped me through some rough, good and uncertain times. These songs have been a source of encouragement and inspiration to me.

Good Woman Down (MJB) – This song has been my relationship inspiration. When I have been made to feel less than enough or wondered why I was going through, this songs reminds me that I’m a good woman that will not remain down! This is my “hear me roar, I am woman” anthem.

Your Steps Are Ordered (Fred Hammond) – Anyone that knows me personally knows I love Fred Hammond! He is my all-time favorite music artist. This song helped me deal with the death of my father and everything else in my life that happens, but I don’t have an answer. This song has helped me to return my feet to my foundation – God – and know that He has ordered my steps.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow – I do not know who sings this song, but I have heard this song in church for years. I have heard it so much that it became one of the songs that I sing. This song has helped me remember who is really in control. When I sign this song, I am calmed and can relax in my unchanging God. He has my back and He knows my future.

Music will continue to be the symphony and harmony of my life.

Hope Prevails!


I signed up for a blogging challenge:  Building a Blogging Habit.  My first challenge is to free write for twenty minutes.  Free writing is beneficial in expressing yourself and just allowing your thoughts to flow.  I want to write on a more consistent basis because I have a lot to say.  I’m always thinking about something and have something to say about everything that I read.  Recently, I have been beyond shocked by the number of young people committing violent crimes.  I wonder what could go so wrong in a person’s mind that he or she thinks it is okay to attack others.  I know I will probably never find the answer, but I still think about it.

Two stories stood out to me:  the recent killings by the young man in California and a story I read today about two 12 year-old girls that plotted to attack another 12 year old.  The young man in California wanted vengeance and decided to be the source of retribution.  He took the time to write an entire manifesto about his intentions.  The young girls led another young girl to the woods, on the premise to play, and one held her down and the other stabbed her 19 times!  I can’t fathom the level of insanity in these young people’s thoughts.  I am not saying their crazy, but I am saying their thoughts were crazy.  How did they think this would end?  How could they think their actions made sense?  These are just two of the stories that have troubled me.

These stories cause me to pause and think of the world that my granddaughter will experience her childhood.  Her childhood is so different from her dad’s.  Her dad could go to the park and I believed he would make it home safely.  My granddaughter has to be supervised.  Not just because of her age, but because of pedophiles and predators.  The people who lay in wait to wreak havoc on others.  Because of these people, no one is safe.  This lack of safety manifests itself in our daily actions.  We have to always be aware of our surroundings and take precautions all the time.  We can do everything right and still can be a victim.  This harsh reality could cause us to feel hopeless, and decide to be a hermit.

However, I refuse to allow predators and pedophiles to dictate my life! I will not leave in fear because I am confident in the one that is still in control.  I know you may be wondering who I am talking about.  I’m talking about God.  He is still in control!  He holds my destiny in his hand.  He is concerned about me and this comforts me.  I know there are so many times I could have been harmed, but I have to pause and think of all the times I didn’t know danger was present.  I am grateful for God caring about me, and being concerned about everything that concerns me.  God is the source of my hope!  I love Him because He loves me!  I love Him for being the source of my strength and happiness.

Even though we live in a world that provides reasons to feel hopeless.  I yet have hope.  When I read a good story, my hope is strengthened.  When I view my facebook newsfeed and read about all of graduates, I have hope!  When I brows IG and see the graduations pics, I gain even more hope!  When I read the news, and read about someone doing something good for another human, my hope is strengthened even more!  Even though evil is ever present, good always wins!  I still believe in treating others the way I want to be treated.  There is still value in taking the time to be concerned about someone other than myself.  I choose to be a source of encouragement and positivity.  I want encouragement and positivity to be synonymous with my name.

Each of us can choose to be a source of encouragement and positivity.  It only takes one person to make a difference.  Will you choose to be that one?



I’m participating in Blogger University on WordPress.  Blogger University is a great, free resource providing to bloggers to enhance their skills and expertise in blogging.  The course started on April 15th, and I am a few days behind.  However, I am determined to complete the course.  My first assignment is to introduce myself and discuss why I am blogging.

This year was finally the time my blogging dreams became a reality.  I have been saying for years I was going to start a blog.  I finally stopped saying it and completed actions to start my blog.  I’m blogging publicly because I wanted to share my thoughts, insight and feelings with others.  Having a personal journal wouldn’t fulfil my need of wanting to dialogue with others about my blog.

I will be writing about life lessons, my thoughts on various current events, my experience in writing resumes and looking for a job, encouragement and motivation; and just whatever is impressed on me to discuss on any particular day.

I would love to connect with other positive bloggers and people who have an opinion about any and every thing.

Happy Blogging!