You’re cute, but…

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I am rendered speechless by those who are unable to compliment someone else without providing shade at the same time.  Why is it so difficult to just say a compliment without adding shade?  We have all heard these type of compliments.  I like her hair, but I don’t like that color.  That outfit is cute, but it should be a different color.  Her shape is nice, but she’s too skinny.  She has a cute face and she would be even cuter, if she wasn’t overweight.  She’s so beautiful, no homo!  Which leads me to trying to understand the purpose of adding “no homo”  after a compliment.  You’re not secure enough in who you are that you are afraid the person you are paying the compliment will think you are a homosexual.  I will never add “no homo” to any compliment I give to another woman, and I won’t provide any disclosures of not being interested as I compliment men.  Providing a compliment does not mean you want the person being complimented sexually.  If someone who is paid a compliment has delusions of being wanted sexually by the complimenter, I have s star that is currently in the galaxy to sell them!

The next time you pay someone a compliment don’t add anything negative to the compliment – just end the sentence.

 

Shout Out To Racists!

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Before Civil Rights, an individual’s feelings about racism were evident in their actions and the words he or she stated.  People freely stated how they felt about minorities and minorities were aware of those feelings.  Those feelings led to our parents being told they had to be better at everything.  We had to out read, run, shoot, spell everyone else.  Affirmative Action came on the scene to level the playing field.  Minorities were being held back simply due to the color of their skin.  Affirmative Action allowed a qualified minority an opportunity.  Racism seem to go underground.  It wasn’t advantageous to let racist feelings be known by others.  As a result, racism became difficult to detect or uncover as a reason for not being hired, or afforded an opportunity.

Fast forward to 2014 and there seems to be an increase in racist statements being uttered publicly.  I read about Cliven Bundy last week.  He was quoted in the New York Times as wondering aloud “if Blacks were better off as slaves.”  Feel free to click on his name to read the entire story.  Then, a tape was released of Donald Sterling discussing his displeasure with his girlfriend being seen with Black people.  Click on his name to hear the entire 15 minute tape.  A few months ago Richard Sherman experienced racist comments directed at him after he trash talked after a NFL game.  It seems we are coming full circle in publicly stating racist views.

Well, I wanted to give a shout out to all racists!  I’m shouting you out because I appreciate you taking the sheet off your head and revealing yourselves!  I’m glad you are letting us know how you really feel.  Now, no one else has to assume or think you’re racist.  You let the world know your heart!  I had someone tell me recently that you can discriminate against people in hiring, but you have to find a “legal” reason not to hire the individual.  Even though you will know the real reason the person was not hired.  I was speechless!  This person spoke the very actions of so many, and sadly we are unable to reveal the real reason.  However, when the racist utters his or her racist statements publicly, they do the rest of us a favor!  We know who they are and where they really stand.  We know who not to support with our money.  A rich racist only understands profits and losses.  For this reason, we need to help your economic understanding.

Keep revealing your racist self.  Shout out to all racists!

 

 

Inspiring Myself!

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I have been participating in a course titled Blogging 101 via WordPress, which has been excellent so far!  I am a few days behind and this post was for day nine.  My assignment was to write a post inspired by my About Me page of my blog.  I worked for a few hours on my About Me page and learned about the website about.me  When you have an opportunity, please check it out. I could talk about a lot of things, but I want to talk about the three things that inspire me about me:

1.  My outlook on life – I am living my life to the fullest without any regrets.  I strive to     live every day as if it were my last!

 

2.  My love for myself – I love me!  If I don’t love me, who will!

 

3.  My sense of humor – I love to laugh.  Laughter is good for the soul!

What inspires you about you?  Think about it and let me know.

Blogging!

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I’m participating in Blogger University on WordPress.  Blogger University is a great, free resource providing to WordPress.com bloggers to enhance their skills and expertise in blogging.  The course started on April 15th, and I am a few days behind.  However, I am determined to complete the course.  My first assignment is to introduce myself and discuss why I am blogging.

This year was finally the time my blogging dreams became a reality.  I have been saying for years I was going to start a blog.  I finally stopped saying it and completed actions to start my blog.  I’m blogging publicly because I wanted to share my thoughts, insight and feelings with others.  Having a personal journal wouldn’t fulfil my need of wanting to dialogue with others about my blog.

I will be writing about life lessons, my thoughts on various current events, my experience in writing resumes and looking for a job, encouragement and motivation; and just whatever is impressed on me to discuss on any particular day.

I would love to connect with other positive bloggers and people who have an opinion about any and every thing.

Happy Blogging!

Forgiveness – The Key to Freedom

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We have all had to encounter situations with others that require forgiveness. Some of us have successfully maneuvered the waters of forgiveness, while others are still held captive by unforgiveness. Being held captive by unforgiveness produces a domino effect of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. These feelings are counterproductive to our emotional progress. Without emotional progress our emotional intelligence growth is stunted. Have you met people who have a stunted emotional intelligence growth? I’m sure you have. I know I have!

A lack of emotional intelligence leads to an inability to have positive relationships, trust issues, depression, stress, the blame syndrome and even death. Those that lack emotional intelligence has a tendency to blame the person or the situation that needs to be forgiven for the problems in their lives. They continue to live in the past. They discuss the source or situation that led to unforgiveness as if it happened yesterday. They never seem to be able to move past the situation.

Harboring unforgiveness allows the situation or the person involved in the situation to control you. The very source of our unforgiveness continues to control our lives. Every twist and turn of our lives is ruled by unforgiveness. Living a life in this manner is not conducive to a positive, successful life. What can we do to rid ourselves of this unforgiveness?

There are several steps we can take to begin a life free of hurt, anger, bitterness and resentment. First, write out how we feel about the situation and the person. Keeping this inside is allowing the hurt and anger to linger. Second, if the person is still alive, we need to let them know the result of their actions or inactions in our lives. It is important to recognize that we are not discussing the issue to secure an apology because the reality is the person may not even remember what they did, or they may feel that they have done nothing wrong. Third, we have to forgive the person. I know you are asking why do we have to forgive. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. When we forgive, we loose ourselves from the shackles that have been holding us back from being whole. It’s time for us to stop living in the past, and live in the present. The present holds the key to our future, and we have to refuse to be limited by our past. It’s time to live! It’s time to be free! Aren’t you ready?

Naturally Curly Problem #5,999

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There are Black girls with naturally curly hair.  No, I didn’t place anything special in my hair to make it curl.  This brand of specialness came via DNA.  I’m mixed with the same races you’re mixed.  I don’t have a good hair!  My texture just happens to be curly.  I struggle with my texture because there isn’t much I can do with it.  Twistouts, twistins or whatever styles are being called today are not my friends. Gel is my enemy.

I literally wash and go.  Wash it or cowash, slap some leave in condish in my hair and keep it moving.  I’m tired of being looked at like I’m part of the circus, and being questioned about my hair like I’m lying.  I had a lady tell me I must be Indian, and she kept calling me a little Indian.  I held my tongue because both of us didn’t have to be ignorant.  When I see others with a style I like, I compliment and keep going.  I wish my hair was kinkier!  The styling options have no limits.  Let me offer a few tips for those that suffer from diarrhea of the mouth:

1.  Google is your friend.  Use it!

2.  If you have 50-11 questions, just stop it!

3.  If you get ready to ask a question or make a statement and it sounds ignorant to you,

it’s ignorant!  Keep calm and remain silent.

4.  Please don’t pet a natural hair.  We are not poodles and your hand might get slapped!

5.  Embrace your texture.

6.  Products can’t curl hair that isn’t curly.  Don’t believe the hype!

7.  If all else fails, follow tip #1.

Learn How To Sacrifice

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We are told no by our parents because they want us to learn the value of a dollar.  If we were given everything we wanted, we wouldn’t know how to respond in a time of stretched finances.  We have seen the result of children who are never told no.  Words are inadequate to express how we feel, when we accomplish something because of our sacrifice.  I remember earning my first degree.  I still can’t place into words how I felt to earn something that no one could take away from me.  What about when you receive that first car title, after making that last car payment?  How about that feeling of being debt free?  Any of these actions required some kind of sacrifice.

However, the sacrifice was worth it because there was greater on the other side of the sacrifice.  We know how to sacrifice, but have we taught our children how to sacrifice?

Our children are living in some of the best of times.  My generation has been able to provide for our children some of the things that our parents were unable to provide for us.  We have paid college tuition, purchased cars, paid monthly rent and supplied our children with designer clothes and high-end electronics.  We have done all of these things, but have we taught them how to sacrifice?  Have we taught our children how to save money, buy a CD (and I am not talking about a music CD), purchase shares of stock, or just the lesson of delayed gratification.  The last thing we should want is our children living paycheck to paycheck because they are wearing their money on their backs and feet.

Let’s teach them how to sacrifice.  Sacrificing builds good character and productive citizens who don’t mind helping someone else along the way because they know what it’s like to persevere through difficulty; and they recognize that they could be in the same position.  So, what lesson in sacrificing will you be giving this week?

Before You Speak…

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Recently, I was in Sunday School class and my Sunday School teacher told us some profound information about speaking.  I wrote it down and chose to start the week by helping us apply her instructions as we carry on various conversations throughout the week.  So many times we speak without considering the impact and ramifications of our words.  We choose to disregard the feelings of others, and would be upset if we were spoken to in the same manner.  My Sunday School teacher admonished us to consider these questions before we speak:

Is it true?

Is it necessary to say?

Is it kind?

As we go about our lives this week, let’s use these questions as a litmus test for the words that we choose to say to one another.  I believe we will have less conflict and confrontations with others.  What do you think?  Practice asking yourself these questions this week before you speak, and let me know your results.

“Image courtesy of  Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.